Welcome to Knockout Horror and to another entry in our Fall Horror Movie Feature. Thanksgiving dinner is done. Everyone is vegged out on the couch watching football and there is one thing on people’s minds. Black Friday sales, amirite? To be honest, I don’t know if anyone even really cares about black Friday anymore? Retailers, at least in the UK, seem to have cottoned on to the mad rush. Attempting to trick would be bargain hunters. They jack prices up in October only to drop them back to their original price for Black Friday. It’s barely worth the sullied reputation you will earn from waiting in line. Still, Black Friday is a thing I suppose, so there has to be a horror movie about it, right?
Written by Andy Greskoviak and directed by Casey Tebo. Black Friday is a comedy horror movie that is being absolutely panned by viewers. Released in November of 2021, Bruce Campbell has both production and acting credits. It must at least be worth a watch, surely? It follows a bunch of grumpy toy store employees being forced to work the midnight shift on Black Friday. Expecting a horde of overly enthusiastic shoppers. The group find themselves in a fight for their lives when a horde of infected people show up at the store looking for more than just bargains.
Thanksgiving Comedy Horror
Black Friday is a comedy horror in the vein of Shaun of the Dead and other similar movies. Featuring a pretty decent cast. The film aims to mix big laughs with some entertaining horror elements. Set around the holiday. Black Friday makes an obvious statement about zombie like bargain hunters. The movie feels about 6 or 7 years out of date. Far more people see the Black Friday sales for what they are nowadays. It feels as though this film would have been a lot more apt half a decade ago. You know, back when people were actually killing each other to get to the bargains.
Still, the concept here could make for a fairly fun horror movie, if nothing else. A store that opens at night full of people who have lost their minds. A ragtag group of employees that have to navigate their differences. All while fighting a horrifying horde of maniacs, desperately fighting to stay alive. A decent sized location full of places to hide. There is plenty of meat on this turkey leg. The problem is, however, Black Friday just doesn’t do any of it particularly well.
The zombies here are overly familiar, ripped right from other similar horror movies. The pacing is an issue, the kills are dull, the action is predictable and formulaic and its just not all that interesting. Sure, if you are desperate for a zombie flick set on Black Friday, it will do. But, as a horror movie, there just isn’t much to recommend outside of the interesting cast.
A Great B-Movie Cast
Black Friday features a pretty stellar cast… Well, as far as B-Movies go. Many of the actors here have been big names at one point or another. I was quite surprised to see a few of the faces. Naturally Bruce Campbell, as cranky store manager Jonathan, gets top building. He is excellent, as always, and plays the role well. Overly concerned with profit, Jonathan is exactly what you would expect. Cowardly, demanding, and self centred.
Final Destination’s Devon Sawa has a pretty big part as Ken. Having worked at the store for years. Ken has perfected avoiding doing anything too taxing and thinks himself to be a bit of a “cool” guy. Sawa reminds me of a bit of a discount Michael Keaton here. Ken is, frankly, a bit sad and Sawa does a nice job of capturing how oblivious Ken is to this fact.
Ivana Baquero, of Pan’s Labyrinth fame, is all grown up and playing Marnie. Marnie is a wise cracking shop assistant. Lacking direction in life. Marnie is pretty capable of defending herself and not afraid to bust her co-worker’s balls. She is definitely a character plenty of ladies can relate to and Baquero does a good job. Michael Jai White appears as tough guy employee Archie. Think his turn as Spawn but with a nail gun. It’s great to see him, however brief. The rest of the cast are all competent with Ryan Lee, as Chris, being of particular note. He delivers quite a few laughs. His portrayal of a germaphobe dealing with various bodily substances is always amusing. All in all, the cast is probably the best part of the movie. They thoroughly buy into the plot and genuinely give it their all.
Too Many Issues
Black Friday falls foul to far too many issues to make it a must watch. The script, for one, is absolutely terrible. Conversations can feel dull and uninteresting. Often awkward and disconnected, it seriously lacks in wit. Most of the time, however, it is just very basic and uninspired. The actors give it their all with the material given but it is just a bit too much to overcome. The poor script is particularly noteworthy as this is a comedy. The complete lack of jokes is an enormous negative. There are a few moments that will make you chuckle but that is about it.
There is a certain feeling of lethargy to the onscreen action. Nothing much happens and the impressive location is wasted. The mutated humans race around the store maniacally. Yet, outside of a few scenes, the survivors ignore them and stay well away. I know that might be the logical thing to do but it makes for poor horror. Action scenes are incredibly limited. Opportunities to offer up some horror thrills evaporate. Characters quickly deal with threats and sanctuary never seems far away. There just isn’t much threat here. It all feels a bit lazy.
The lack of humour is only compounded by the fact that this is not a scary horror. If you are making a comedy horror, you need one of those elements to take precedence. A few jokes and a decent amount of scares is good. A few scares and tons of jokes is even better. What you can’t do, however, is to have virtually no jokes and absolutely no scares at all. Black Friday’s horror elements are poorly executed, formulaic, and entirely predictable. It doesn’t even manage to get the viewer with jump scares. You will see what is coming next from a mile away. This would be okay if the movie was funny. The fact is that it just isn’t so what you are left with is mediocre comedy and non-existent horror.
Bland Cinematography and Awful CGI
Cinematography and direction are pretty average. It’s about as basic as you can imagine for a fairly high budget horror movie. I can’t remember a single standout shot. It’s just a bland looking movie. CGI Special effects are absolute shit for the most part. There are scenes toward the end that look absolutely awful. I understand that somethings are on a scale where practical stuff would be difficult. Why include them, though? Write something different. If all you can offer are CG effects that suck ass, why bother?
It does have to be said, however, that the practical effects are excellent. The mutated humans looks really good. The designs are nothing out of the ordinary but they certainly look convincing. There’s evidently been a lot of thought gone into the monsters. I imagine there was also a fair bit of time in a makeup chair for the performers. It’s a shame that the latter parts of the movie forego the practical stuff for CGI. It’s one of the highlights of the movie and deserves a lot of praise.
Pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but deserving of mention. The soundtrack is horrible. Patrick Stump, of Fall Out Boy fame, handles the task and, despite being a great singer, he does an awful job scoring a movie. Imagine a 15 year old edgy kid declaring how his Christmas film would have a punk soundtrack. How many F-bombs would that little bastard put in those songs? That’s Black Friday. It’s bad enough seeing the 44 year old Sawa skating around the store like a 15 year old. Without also being subjected to shit like Bankrupt’s “Christmas is Cancelled Forever”? I don’t think anyone deserves to suffer that level of cringe.
Should You Watch Black Friday?
Despite my complaints, I still think Black Friday is worth a watch. Many viewers absolutely hate this movie. Despite this, there are some positives to take away and it can be relatively enjoyable. Don’t go into it expecting something amazing and you might have an okay time. This is a mindless comedy horror that will give you a few laughs and little more.
It’s easy to focus on the terrible script. The forgettable plot is obviously noteworthy. Naturally the lack of laughs stands out and the special effects suck. But, if you can push that aside for a little while, you actually may enjoy it. Grab a few friends, a few drinks and watch it as part of a holiday season B-Movie marathon. You may just find another holiday horror staple. Bruce Campbell deserves it for all the years of horror laughs, right? The chin demands it, in fact! Don’t you dare deny the chin!
