Blind Waters (2023) Review – A Dull and Unfocused Asylum Shark Movie
Blind Waters: Quick Verdict
The Verdict: A lethargic and uninspired addition to The Asylum’s ever-growing shark film catalogue that fails to capitalise on its unique premise. Blind Waters suffers from a glacial pace, spending far too much time on mundane relationship drama rather than the visceral thrills audiences expect from the genre. While Meghan Carrasquillo delivers a competent performance that is arguably too good for the material, she is hampered by a predictable script and an underwhelming antagonist. The “blindness” gimmick, meant to add a layer of sensory terror, is largely squandered through poor execution and a lack of genuine tension. With subpar visual effects and a bloated runtime of over 100 minutes, it is a 1.5 star experience that feels like a repetitive slog. It lacks the “so-bad-it’s-good” charm of Asylum’s more energetic outings, resulting in a shark movie that is remarkably toothless.
Details: Director: Anthony C. Ferrante | Cast: Meghan Carrasquillo, Noam Sigler, Francisco Angelini | Runtime: 1h 40m | Release Date: 12 August 2023
Best for: Die-hard shark movie completionists and fans of unintentionally cheesy low-budget acting.
Worth noting: Director Anthony C. Ferrante is a veteran of the sub-genre, having directed all six films in the Sharknado franchise.
Where to Watch: Tubi (Free), Amazon Prime Video
Rating: 1.5/5 Stars
(Poor special effects, sluggish pacing, and a wasted central hook.)
Welcome to Knockout Horror. We are back with another shark movie. Today we will be reviewing Blind Waters from 2023. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention, it’s both a Tubi Original and an Asylum shark movie. So, yay, this is going to suck.
Table of Contents
More of the same Asylum garbage
When it comes to Asylum’s fascination with sharks, Blind Waters is more of the same. A young couple rent a boat to spend a romantic day snorkeling on the reef and enjoying the sun. Only to encounter engine problems that leave them stranded in shark-infested waters.
“Blind Waters is more of the same. Get a couple of people out on the water and give them an excuse to get intimate with the business end of a shark.”
Naturally there is a bit of a twist during the middle which plays into the title but this is about as run of the mill as it gets. Blind Waters, very much, follows the usual pattern of these types of films. Get a couple of people out on the water and give them an excuse to get intimate with the business end of a shark.
Rather than being ridiculous and “so bad it is good” like so many of these movies, Blind Waters is just extremely slow and very boring. More so than Shark Waters, to be honest. So much of this movie is spent bobbing away on the waves with nothing happening that it is hard to stay interested.
The relationship between our main characters, Valentina and Weston, is dull. The characters aren’t particularly interesting and the side plot that takes up much of the time does little to create intrigue. There’s just no reason to invest your time in this movie.
Even the shark stuff sucks!
Even the shark elements provoke yawns. I can never shake the feeling that Asylum only include sharks in their movies purely so they can put it in the title. For the most part, the movies always revolve around something else. Maybe it’s a character with family problems? Perhaps it’s a relationship gone wrong? Could it be a vicious criminal kidnapping people? It’s almost never directly about the sharks themselves.
There is no reason why the shark here is so pissed off, either. It’s just there to be a menace with no rhyme or reason. At least they attempted to create a story behind the aggression in Shark Waters, there is none of that here.
“I can never shake the feeling that Asylum only include sharks in their movies purely so they can put it in the title. It’s almost never directly about the sharks themselves.”
The whole blind gimmick that comes into play later on in the movie doesn’t really add much. The opportunities to do more with it are completely squandered. There aren’t any tense chase scenes here to get excited about. Tons of the time is spent focusing on mundane things rather than actual action. The characters are so dumb that the only risk they are ever in is a product of their own stupidity. Oh, and did I mention that it is over 100 minutes long… Yeah!
Terrible special effects, as always with Asylum
All of these issues would be somewhat forgivable if the sharks look good but this is an Asylum movie. You know that the effects here are going to be the equivalent of someone playing around at home on Photoshop.
The shark looks terrible, managing to be ridiculously small and not at all imposing. It has a disconnected-from-the-environment feel. Almost as if they didn’t think they needed to bother with shadows. It looks terrible. Just as bad as it did in Shark Waters but with only one shark instead of six.
Interestingly enough, camera work is fairly decent. These movies always look like they are supported by decent equipment and capable hands. It’s just everything else that is lacking. It’s like going to a gorgeous bar with a seafront view but all they serve is house vodka and knock-off soda brands.
Acting is about what you would expect
Meghan Carrasquillo, as Valentina, is absolutely fine. She was decent in Shark Waters and does a good job here too. She emotes convincingly and is far too good for these low budget movies where nobody else gives a crap.
“Blind Waters is content to bob around on the waves like a piece of driftwood. Plain, unremarkable, and of limited purpose.”
Noam Sigler, as Weston, is hilariously awkward in parts. He really tries but comes across so wooden at times; his dialogue delivery was very reminiscent of the voice-overs from the original Resident Evil games. Managing to be both extremely cheesy and completely over the top. He gives it 120%, though, and has a great look for a movie like this. Francisco Angelini, as Gabe, looks pretty bored for the most part but comes on a lot in the later scenes.
The script is dog shit which makes speech very unnatural and extremely basic. Characters often go into too much detail about what they are thinking, feeling, or doing. The movie frequently resorts to cheesy one-liners, too.
Direction follows a similarly cheesy approach. There’s repeated cuts to character close-ups so they can deliver lines that sound both out of place and a bit silly. Continuity is a problem with a ton of variation between shots. Again, Asylum movies never look particularly low budget. Camera work is often decent and the colour palettes are bright and vibrant.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
The Good
- Meghan Carrasquillo: A solid lead performance that provides the film with its only shred of emotional grounding.
- Bright Cinematography: The film looks surprisingly clean and vibrant, avoiding the muddy look of many other low-budget Tubi originals.
- Unintentional Humour: Noam Sigler’s over-the-top delivery provides a few laughs for fans of campy, b-movie acting.
The Bad
- Glacial Pacing: At 100 minutes, the film is far too long for such a thin plot, resulting in long stretches where absolutely nothing happens.
- Subpar Effects: The shark looks like a poorly rendered 3D model that lacks any sense of weight or environmental interaction.
- Wasted Premise: The blindness element is introduced late and used sparingly, failing to create any real sense of peril or innovation.
The Ugly: The Script. The dialogue is remarkably basic, with characters frequently narrating their own thoughts and actions in a way that feels unnatural and patronising.
Should You Watch Blind Waters?
No. It is a 1.5 star failure that offers very little to anyone outside of the most dedicated shark movie fans. While it is technically watchable, it is far too slow and boring to be entertaining. There are dozens of better shark films available on the same platforms that offer more scares, better effects, and tighter storytelling. Save your time and skip this one.
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