F*** Marry Kill (2024) review – An outdated and uninspiring date-night thriller

Welcome to Knockout Horror. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so what better time than now to look at some romantic comedy horror movies? Today, we are taking a look at a movie that follows a similar sort of formula, F*** Marry Kill. Obligatory, this is more of a thriller than a horror, but we will get to that later.

Another romantic-horror comedy just in time for Valentine’s Day

F*** Marry Kill follows the story of 30-something woman, Eva (Lucy Hale). After a recent breakup, Eva is looking to get back into the dating scene. The only problem is that a vicious serial killer is targeting single women on dating apps. Eva, a true-crime fan, tasks herself with discovering which of her prospective dates just so happens to be a murderer.

As you can probably imagine, the movie plays out in a rather formulaic manner. Woman is aware of the dangers of dating apps, uses them anyway, meets a guy, becomes suspicious, does some detective work, rinse and repeat. Comedy plays a central role; Eva is a rather bumbling character who is occasionally amusing. The romance stuff is more of a side plot, and the thriller elements are, pretty much, non-existent.

The romance stuff is more of a side plot, and the thriller elements are, pretty much, non-existent.

I won’t even go into the movie’s title, which is not only derivative but also pretty eye-roll inducing. There’s just so much I dislike about this film’s setup. I mentioned in my review of Heart Eyes that I am really not a fan of romantic comedy movies. Heart Eyes manages to allay those fears by being both genuinely funny and having likable characters. F*** Marry Kill does not share any of those positive traits.

It’s really not a very funny movie

This is a film that leans into the rom-com elements in a way that feels both cheap and rather unamusing. It reminds me a lot of a Hallmark movie. Something like Girlfriends of Christmas Past, or the like. The humour is far closer to something you would see in a 2000s sitcom rather than anything current or particularly clever.

The “romance”, on the other hand, is very much of the Sex and the City variety and feels extremely outdated. I don’t think people are shocked in 2025 by women talking about dicks and doing anal. It’s par for the course. Remember the “your kids will love that” Back to the Future meme? The writers, here, didn’t get the memo. The writing is massively reductive and out of date.

F*** Marry Kill can be repetitive, tropey, and very predictable. It relies heavily on the quirkiness of its main character for laughs. Something I struggled with quite a lot. Lucy Hale massacres the scenery, leaving bite marks in everything. I know plenty of people like her, but I am not really here for her brand of overdoing it.

“The romance is very much of the Sex and the City variety and feels extremely outdated. Remember the ‘your kids will love that’ Back to the Future meme? The writers, here, didn’t get the memo.”

Eva starts as a fairly enjoyable character but quickly becomes annoying and a bit obnoxious, especially when she is judging others for things she is doing herself. Some of the writing is weirdly misogynistic, as well, particularly where female friendships are concerned.

A strange true crime leaning

Eva just so happens to be a true-crime fan; something that plays a pivotal role in the plot but is never actually portrayed in a way that feels all that meaningful. Despite being such a crime buff, Eva, apparently, has no real idea of her vulnerability or the dangerous situations she is placing herself into.

“She’s presented as something of a human dodo; keen to extinct herself at the closest convenient opportunity.”

This movie is appearing at a time when the true-crime fandom has taken a lot of hits, adding to the unlikable nature of many of the characters. People, generally, tend to see the community as, let’s be honest, a bit sad, with many displaying a staggering lack of empathy for victims and the families of victims.

Despite Eva’s fascination and prior knowledge of the traits of killers, the movie forces her into awkward situation after awkward situation. She’s presented as something of a human dodo; keen to extinct herself at the closest convenient opportunity. It’s all done for the sake of creating a few ultra-dull thriller sequences that go, literally, nowhere. F*** Marry Kill is full of false flag after false flag. The thriller elements are barely existent, and anyone looking for any tension or scares will be sorely disappointed.

Some people will probably find it amusing

There are a few laughs to be had, here. The first 20 minutes are pretty funny, and offer a fair bit of hope, to be honest. Nothing uproarious but quite a few moments where you laugh and feel a bit silly for having found that particular thing comical. Like having an episode of Big Bang Theory on in the background.

If you are a Lucy Hale fan, you will probably enjoy her performance. She is allowed to just let loose and do whatever she wants. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but some will definitely appreciate the focus being so solidly on her.

I really enjoyed Jedidiah Goodacre, as Kyle. He has some brilliant comedy timing and delivery. Some of the more interesting characters didn’t get enough screen time. I would have loved to have seen more of Anthony (JayR) and Kelly (Virginia Gardner), but far too much time was spent playing Groundhog Day with Eva and her various boyfriends. Virginia Gardner is criminally underused but fantastic in every scene she is in.

Direction is a mixed bag. The camera work is incredibly antsy, especially during the first third of the film. The shot constantly flicks between one subject to another, before flicking to the same subject from another spot and then back again. It’s a bit distracting, to be honest.

Continuity is a big problem, as well. Time passes with virtually no indicator, and you can be left mentally trying to catch up. My fiancée repeatedly had to ask how long had passed between shots.

F*** Marry Kill is way too long. There is a scene around the midway point that blows the whole plot open, making it very obvious what is going on and seeming like a natural conclusion is upcoming. Instead, it goes on for another 35 minutes, repeating, basically, the last 30 minutes of the movie one more time before coming to a ruthlessly predictable conclusion that feels beyond dumb. What is it with every movie like this trying to be Scream, nowadays? These writers are outsmarting themselves.

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A 4-star rating for a scrappy indie horror made for $10,000 is a testament to its ingenuity and raw power. A 4-star rating for a $100 million blockbuster means it delivered on its epic promises. We don't compare them side-by-side; we celebrate success in every weight class, from the back-alley brawler to the heavyweight champion. Please keep this in mind when considering star ratings.

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