The Coffee Table (2022) Review – A Masterclass In Relentless Psychological Cruelty

Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are going to be reviewing a Spanish horror, dark comedy, movie that has caused a bit of a stir on social media – The Coffee Table (La mesita del comedor). Directed by Caye Casas, this movie hit the festival circuit in 2022 but seems to be making its way to a wider release in 2024. 

A simple tale about ugly furniture

I can’t really go too deep into the description of this movie without completely spoiling it. The Coffee Table follows struggling husband and wife Maria (Estefanía de los Santos) and Jesús (David Pareja). After a difficult period of fertility treatment, the pair have finally had a baby.

Moving into a new home, the couple are decorating and making the place their own. When it comes to picking a new coffee table, however, Jesús’s tastes leave a lot to be desired. He is so insistent on the one he wants that Maria buckles, little realising that the addition of the hideous piece of furniture will set off a horrifying spiral of events.

This is about as self-contained as horror comes. The entire events of the movie take place over one day. We start in the morning with the couple viewing furniture. We then move on to them bringing the coffee table back to their apartment. And the rest of the events take place in the afternoon and evening as Maria goes shopping, Jesús looks after the baby, and the pair prepare for a visit from Jesús’ brother and girlfriend. It’s a tight, almost real-time, production that doesn’t let up from start to finish.

A simple, horrifying, mistake

This is one of those movies that shows how a cascading cycle of events can stem from one decision. The awful coffee table that Jesús purchases with the supposedly “unbreakable” glass leads to something horrific. And from that one simple action, things continually get worse and worse. Jesús passively attempts to deal with the problem without ever actually confronting it, opening up a cycle of horror that is completely unrelenting.

It’s such a simple concept but the way The Coffee Table manages to induce anxiety is quite unlike any horror I have watched. Placing the viewer as a voyeur into Jesús and Maria’s world, you see exactly what happens to Jesús while Maria is out and you immediately share in his dread.

“Jesús passively attempts to deal with the problem without ever actually confronting it, opening up a cycle of horror that is completely unrelenting.”

He makes wrong decision after wrong decision. And with every misstep, the tension increases and the powder keg gets just that little bit closer to exploding. This is a movie that will have you on the edge of your seat wondering when it will all come to a head. 

Legitimately one of the darkest horror-comedies ever

The accident in question here is horrific. It made my fiancée audibly gasp. While not necessarily graphic, it is made very clear what has happened and, as the details of the accident become more clear, it only gets more horrifying. The best way to describe it is as being one of those types of intrusive thoughts that attacks your mind when you are trying to relax.

Take, for example, sitting in an armchair with your legs up on a coffee table. Do you ever get that thought of what would happen if somebody was to just fall across your legs, snapping them at the knees? It’s that kind of thing but brought to life in a hauntingly authentic manner.

“Placing the viewer as a voyeur into Jesús and Maria’s world, you see exactly what happens to Jesús while Maria is out and you immediately share in his dread.”

It immediately sets your panic meter to full and what follows after only pushes it even further into the red. The next hour or so is just sequence after sequence of tension as Jesús tries to avoid confronting the truth. He digs himself deeper and deeper into a pit that he can’t escape from and you are there as a witness to every second of it. It is captivating stuff.

Hilarious but oh so cruel

The weird thing is, The Coffee Table makes you laugh… repeatedly. You almost feel bad for it considering the situation. But scenes such as Maria’s infectious cackling at Jesús and his hideous table are impossible not to giggle at. The constant ways that Casas and fellow writer Cristina Borobia find to dig the pit even deeper, all while creating situations that make you chuckle, is nothing short of hugely impressive.

It’s all done with this particular brand of relentless cruelty as the pair play God with their characters, manipulating their lives to make the situation even worse and make the culmination of the events all the more horrifying and painful. You genuinely feel sorry for everyone involved. Few horror movies take such joy in crafting situations quite this awful but The Coffee Table does and it is brilliant for it. You will feel bad for enjoying it but it is difficult to not enjoy.

It’s not going to be for everyone

Naturally this isn’t going to be for everyone. The self-contained nature may put a few people off. One shocking scene followed by a ton of building on the result of said scene will leave some people yearning for more. This is the type of movie that could be performed on stage with a few actors. If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea then you may want to skip it.

“It is relentlessly cruel, horribly sadistic, brutally comical, and thoroughly enjoyable.”

A lot of people are going to be expecting something hideously disturbing thanks to the social media chatter and may be disappointed. The Coffee Table is disturbing in themes but not really graphic at all. 

Acting is fantastic. Every performance is pitch perfect. David Pareja is sensational as Jesús and does a hugely impressive job of relating the anxiety his character feels. Estefanía de los Santos’s performance is, likewise, brilliant. She is so real and raw while also delivering some of the more comedic content fantastically well. There really isn’t a weak performance here. I thought the pacing was spot on. The ending may leave a few people wanting more but I thought it was quite fitting. To be honest, I enjoyed it so much I could have gone for another ten minutes of runtime. 

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