Shark Waters (2022) Review – A Toothless and Farcical Asylum Disaster

Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are reviewing horror, thriller, Shark Waters from 2022.

Why are low budget shark movies so bad?

Actor turned director Jadon Cal’s Shark Waters is not a good movie. Within the first couple of minutes, Shark Waters tells you all you need to know. Absolutely shocking CG sharks close in on an unknowing swimmer. The warnings of his G-string wearing girlfriend go unheeded as our random “first victim” is gobbled alive in a pool of orange tinted CG blood.

“Absolutely shocking CG sharks close in on an unknowing swimmer. It is a horrendous opening, both laughable and a good indicator of what is to come.”

G-string wearing lady repeatedly bears her ass to the camera as she struggles to get back on her jet ski, offering a glimmer of aesthetic titillation, if nothing else. Only for her efforts to be completely in vain as she also appears to fall victim to a “shark” who eats her alive, literally butt first. It is a horrendous opening! Both laughable and a good indicator of what is to come.

Shark Waters offers the viewer a fairly simple story. A group of people end up stuck out at sea surrounded by a bunch of poorly rendered, and poorly mannered, great white sharks. Our heroine, Lucia, simply wants to head out on a quiet, relaxed fishing trip. Only, the fish seem to be harder to come by, nowadays.

The result of horrific overfishing in seas all over the world or the result of a family of greedy sharks? I’ll let you decide. Either way, Captain Banning has to take his boat out further to offer his customers a satisfactory fishing experience. Something that will prove, potentially, deadly for our cast of shark meals in waiting.

So very very stupid

The people on the boat then proceed to do literally everything that they can to be eaten. Whether it is falling into the water repeatedly, attempting to fight sharks one on one, or heading out into the water on an inflatable motor boat. There isn’t a single person with a lick of sense in this movie. This is the most stupid cast of characters ever put to film; they practically line up, one by one, to be cast out into the sea and eaten. It is completely farcical and it gets worse and worse as the movie goes on.

You could make the argument that these movies are supposed to be a little bit ridiculous but this goes way beyond that. It is scene after scene of eye rolling absurdity. The thing that is somewhat impressive about Shark Waters, is how the silliness extends into nearly every facet of the movie.

“The people on the boat then proceed to do literally everything that they can to be eaten. There isn’t a single person with a lick of sense in this movie.”

It’s not just characters acting dumb, it’s everything else, as well. Be it the massive task force set up purely to monitor shark movements, the helicopter with infinite amounts of fuel, or the incompetent coast guard who don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground. Everything about this movie’s plot is complete farce.

Terrible camera work, effects and an awful script

Camera work, here, ranges from sub-par to absolutely awful. There is a strange dullness to every scene and some of the angles are seriously bizarre. With the camera forced up into character’s faces to emphasise expressions and hide what is going on off screen. In one particularly awful scene a pair of characters are supposed to be rowing which basically consists of tight shots of contorted facial expressions and the occasional splash of water. It looks incredibly bad. 

Much of the shoddy camera work is designed to hide the terrible special effects. And when I say terrible, I mean some of the worst I have ever seen. The sharks look so incredibly bad, the CG is beyond laughable. Attacks look so silly with characters desperately trying to make it look as though they are being viciously mauled, all while some terribly rendered sharks move clumsily over their bodies. It is so bad. The CG pools of blood are even worse, looking a strange hint of orange and spreading out in a jarring manner.

The absolutely terrible script really doesn’t help, as well. It is line after line of clumsy dialogue designed purely to provide gallons of exposition as quickly as possible. Lucia starts nearly every sentence with “me and my dad” or “when I was a little girl”. Captain Banning never shuts up about his boat. Every character that knows him talks about how amazing Captain Banning is and how he saved their life. And every word for the last 20 minutes or so is screamed. It is beyond amateurish and almost childlike in parts.

Acting is actually okay

I actually think the acting in Shark Waters has some genuine high points. Meghan Carrasquillo is too good to be acting in movies like this. We will be seeing her again, soon, in a future review. I actually felt sorry for her, here. She does a really good job and stands out for how seriously she takes the whole thing, especially compared to the farcical nature of the things happening around her.

“Meghan Carrasquillo is too good to be acting in movies like this. She does a really good job and stands out for how seriously she takes the whole thing.”

Carrasquillo’s genuinely great acting makes the movie seem even worse. Whether she is shivering and panicked or happy and optimistic, there isn’t a single moment in the movie where she allowed the silliness of the production to get the better of her. She was excellent and I would love to see her in more horror in the future.

Jim Fitzpatrick, as Jose, has been around for years and does a decent job here. Again, not letting the silliness of the movie undermine his performance. Mike Anderson starts strong as Captain Banning but seems to get bored pretty quickly. Delivering his lines in a way that suggests he barely read the script and didn’t care too much for the motivations of the character. Can you blame him, though? Jonathan Shores is okay but feels a little uneasy in his delivery at times.

Everyone else is pretty awful, with a few performances standing out for being particularly wooden. People are going to trash the performances here because this is an Asylum movie. I don’t think that is entirely fair, though. Some of them are genuinely decent; some people get ready for work in the morning and aim to do a good job, regardless of how shitty their workplace is and regardless of how much of a clown shoes movie they are acting in. That’s the case here.

Our Scoring Philosophy: A Fair Fight

Horror is a genre that thrives thanks to indie film makers and low budget creators. At Knockout Horror, we firmly believe that every movie that we review deserves a fair fight. That's why we grade on a curve. Our star ratings are all about context, judging a film on what it achieves with the resources it has.

A 4-star rating for a scrappy indie horror made for $10,000 is a testament to its ingenuity and raw power. A 4-star rating for a $100 million blockbuster means it delivered on its epic promises. We don't compare them side-by-side; we celebrate success in every weight class, from the back-alley brawler to the heavyweight champion. Please keep this in mind when considering star ratings.

Support the Site Knockout Horror is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Basically, if you click a link to rent or buy a movie, we may earn a tiny commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This helps keep the lights on and the nightmares coming. Don't worry, we will never recommend a movie purely to generate clicks. If it's bad, we will tell you.

Disclaimer: Images, posters, and video stills used in this review are the property of their respective copyright holders. They are included here for the purposes of commentary, criticism, and review under fair use. Knockout Horror makes no claim of ownership and encourages readers to support the official release of all films discussed.