The Puppetman (2023) Review – A Generic and Uninspired Possession Slog
The Puppetman: Quick Verdict
The Verdict: A textbook example of “horror by numbers” that fails to leave any lasting impression. The Puppetman suffers from a predictable script, wooden acting, and a glacial pace that makes its 93-minute runtime feel much longer. While director Brandon Christensen manages a few interesting kills, the film is weighed down by clichéd characters and a total lack of genuine tension. It is a 2-star sleepover horror that might serve as decent background noise for undemanding viewers but offers nothing new or surprising for seasoned genre fans. It is a mediocre production that sadly continues a trend of middle-of-the-road Shudder originals.
Details: Director: Brandon Christensen | Cast: Alyson Gorske, Angel Prater, Caryn Richman, Michael Paré | Runtime: 1h 33m | Release Date: 13 October 2023
Best for: Casual viewers looking for a mindless time-filler or those who enjoy the specific “possession-slasher” sub-genre regardless of quality.
Worth noting: Michael Paré, a staple of low-budget genre cinema, makes a brief appearance as the titular Puppetman’s lawyer.
Where to Watch: Amazon🛒, Shudder
Rating: 2/5 Stars
(A few decent kills, painfully predictable, lack of character chemistry)
Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are reviewing 2023 Shudder Original horror movie The Puppetman.
Table of Contents
More generic stuff from Brandon Christensen
Directed by Superhost director Brandon Christensen, The Puppetman continues Christensen’s 7 year run of directorial mediocrity. I think it is probably fair to say that we know what to expect when we see his name attached to a production and The Puppetman fits the bill perfectly.
Michal’s (Alyson Gorske) father has always insisted that some unknown force compelled him to murder his wife. Though Michal has never believed him, she begins to have something of a change of heart after she too begins experiencing strange goings on. Working together with a group of friends, she aims to get to the bottom of the mystery and discover what it is that is cursing her family.
So middle of the road
The Puppetman is just an extremely generic horror, thriller movie with very little to say about it. The concept itself isn’t entirely bad. The story of a person being controlled by an external force and made to kill people isn’t unique but it is still fairly interesting. It’s the execution that lets the story down.
“The Puppetman is just an extremely generic horror thriller with very little to say. Christensen goes to the well of horror cliché repeatedly and greedily.”
Just like Christensen’s others films, The Puppetman is extremely formulaic, unsurprising and very dull. Christensen goes to the well of horror cliché repeatedly and greedily. The movie is awash with trope after trope. Tension and suspense are minimal and the film approaches levels of predictability that you actually don’t see that often in horror. A point that is made all the more significant by just how predictable horror can be.
Painfully predictable
This is one of those movies that will have you and your friends calling out what will happen way before it does and you will be dead right. Even the final scene of the movie will make your toes curl for how projected and obvious it is. My fiancée called out exactly what would happen and then physically winced and groaned when it did.
“Even the final scene of the movie will make your toes curl for how projected and obvious it is. My fiancée called out exactly what would happen.”
Much like the aforementioned Superhost, the vast majority of the film just trundles along at an inconsiderate, lazy pace. Never offering much reason to engage and never trying to be anything other than horror by numbers. Unlike Superhost, however, there are no fantastic actors like Gracie Gillam to keep you invested. Acting here is extremely bottom of the barrel. It reminded me a lot of 2019’s Black Christmas for how clichéd the characters were.
The actors have minimal chemistry and literally zero character development to work with. A poor script only compounds these issues. Something that is probably not that surprising considering three writers have their fingers in the butthole of this movie. Combine that with some bizarre casting choices and you have some seriously annoying scenes with some seriously awkward dialogue.
How many times are we going to see the 5′ 6″ dude, who is probably 130lbs soaking wet, referred to as “juiced up” and “muscular” by strangers? Cast a dude with some muscle, at least! If the other characters are supposed to think our main girl is weird and a bit of an outsider, don’t cast an attractive blonde chick. If you are making a movie about a group of young college friends, maybe try casting actors who don’t look like they are kicking 30’s door down.
Slow paced and not scary
The Puppetman crawls in at a laborious 93 minutes. Much of that is scene setting and slow paced moments of exposition. Scares are infrequent, repetitive, and fairly ineffective. Seeing characters possessed can be a cringeworthy experience. Actors are forced into a theatrical performance of “stop hitting yourself” to reflect the fact that they are not willingly performing the actions, making for some scenes that are actually comical rather than tragic or affecting.
On the plus side, this is one of those movies that less demanding horror fans may actually enjoy. It doesn’t ask too much and features much of what has become popular in horror over recent years. Possession, occult rituals, near 30 year olds pretending to be teens.
“Actors are forced into a theatrical performance of ‘stop hitting yourself,’ making for some scenes that are actually comical rather than tragic.”
It’s all there and this may serve as a pretty effective sleep over horror or time filler if you are just looking for something mindless. The story is, at least, slightly different from most recent horror and some of the kills are fairly interesting.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
The Good
- Creative Kills: There are a couple of death sequences that show flashes of ingenuity and provide some much-needed gore.
- Premise: The core idea of being puppeted by a malevolent force into committing murder is a solid horror hook, even if squandered here.
The Bad
- Predictability: The film projects its scares and twists so loudly that the audience will stay ten steps ahead of the plot at all times.
- Weak Casting: The actors look far too old for their roles and lack the chemistry needed to make their friendship believable.
- Pacing: Significant portions of the film drag with uninspired exposition that fails to build meaningful lore.
The Ugly: The “possession” acting. The theatrical, jerky movements used to represent the characters being controlled often look more like a bad mime routine than a terrifying curse.
Should You Watch The Puppetman?
Only if you have run out of things to watch on Shudder. It is an uninspired and generic horror movie that brings absolutely nothing new to the table. If you want a film that actually takes risks or offers genuine suspense, your time is much better spent elsewhere. It is a 2-star filler film at best.
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Horror is a genre that thrives thanks to indie film makers and low budget creators. At Knockout Horror, we firmly believe that every movie that we review deserves a fair fight. That's why we grade on a curve. Our star ratings are all about context, judging a film on what it achieves with the resources it has.
A 4-star rating for a scrappy indie horror made for $10,000 is a testament to its ingenuity and raw power. A 4-star rating for a $100 million blockbuster means it delivered on its epic promises. We don't compare them side-by-side; we celebrate success in every weight class, from the back-alley brawler to the heavyweight champion. Please keep this in mind when considering star ratings.
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