The Children (2008) Review – A Chilling and Brutal Festive Nightmare

Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are reviewing The Children (2008).

Christmas and New Year chaos

Directed by Tom Shankland, The Children sees a group of kids spending some time with their parents before becoming infected with something that changes their personalities. The result is a lot of violence and a hell of a Christmas holiday for their parents. Set at a grand estate somewhere in England, The Children takes place after Christmas in the week leading up to New Year. With this in mind, it is great for the lead up to the holiday or even the week after.

“These kids are murderous and running riot. When the parents try to wrangle them, they hide only to return later for more barbaric brutality. It is a fun dynamic helped by a fantastic location.”

So our kids are going crazy and the parents don’t know what to do. It’s basic stuff but when I say crazy I don’t mean hyper. These kids are murderous and running riot. When the parents try to wrangle them, they hide only to return later for more barbaric brutality. It’s a fun dynamic and the hide-and-seek thrills are helped by a fantastic location.

Aside from the nice, festive aesthetic, the estate affords a sense of scope that many movies like this lack. The snow and decorations are one thing but its the size of the area and how remote it is that stands out. This is a mansion located far away from surrounding towns. The isolation gives way to plenty of mayhem. There are loads of places to run and lots of places to hide. Perfect for a group of marauding evil kids to do their dirty work.

Crazy camera cuts and lots of noise

When I first started watching this movie, I almost instantly asked myself why the background music was playing so loud. It is immediately apparent in the opening scene. It turned out that this is just what The Children does. The same tune plays loudly in numerous parts of the film. It’s quite annoying and it is combined with constant screaming to overwhelm the viewer’s sense. I don’t know whether it works but it certainly sets you off base, even if it is just out of annoyance.

There are a lot of erratic camera cuts to navigate, as well. Camera work, as a whole, is a bit messy. There are certain scenes featuring extended slow motion for, seemingly, no reason. I would understand this if it led up to something but it doesn’t. It’s like the editor found the slow motion button for the first time and was insistent on trying it out.

Scenes where the kids are attacking can be difficult to follow. The camera will flick from one person to the next and back again. It changes from one angle to another before zooming in and back out. It feels messy and chaotic. I am assuming this is intended but it makes for a difficult watch. I would imagine some of this is designed to hide the stunt work. Still, it feels disorganised and cheapens the look of the film.

An annoying family and a bad script

If the aim of The Children is to make us care about the victims, it fails miserably. Every adult in this movie is horribly annoying. All of them seem pompous and up their own arses. There’s some weird relationship dynamics here, as well. One involving a teen girl and her uncle was particularly concerning. I know that crafting likeable characters is a tough thing to do, but I will never understand filmmakers expecting us to relate to people like these. I was actually happy to see the kids getting their own back.

“The Children does a decent job of building a nice sense of tension. Simple disobedience turns into violence before transforming into murderous intent.”

Some of the dialogue is incredibly awkward. Casey, in particular, falls victim to this. At one point she says “I am so sad I could fart!“… I am fairly sure I heard this line correctly. For a minute I had to double take as it is so ridiculous. Do humans even talk like this? It’s like one of those intrusive thoughts that you just so happen to say out loud and feel embarrassed about for the rest of your life.

Despite the bad script, The Children does do a decent job of building a nice sense of tension. It starts off slowly with just minor hints that something is wrong. As more of the kids become ill, the events start to ramp up a fair bit. Simple disobedience turns into violence before transforming into murderous intent. By the time the first major incident takes place, the tension is well established.

For those of you who are fans of gore, there are some pretty effective scenes here and there. The Children is one of those movies that enjoys relishing in injury detail. Despite the less than plausible events that lead up to said injuries, some of them are pretty well done and will likely make you wince.

Acting is mixed

First off, all of the kids are great. They look to be having a great time playing evil little buggers. They all do a brilliant job and are even believable when just playing together like normal kids do. The adults are not so good. Rachel Shelley chews the scenery a fair bit. Her later scenes are particularly lacklustre. It seemed like she had a seriously difficult time realistically portraying fear and emotion. She came across as if she was overacting, plain and simple.

“All of the kids are great. They look to be having a great time playing evil little buggers. They do a brilliant job and are even believable when just playing together like normal kids do.”

Stephen Campbell Moore, as Jonah, was fine. Jeremy Sheffield, as Robbie, was okay too. Eva Birthistle felt a little awkward interacting with the kids at first. She gets a lot better later on, however. Hanna Tointon, as Casey, gives such a weird performance. It was as if she was putting on a high-pitched, breathy voice throughout. It was strange and I couldn’t help but notice it. She was around 20 when she played this role so maybe she was attempting to seem younger?

I don’t know but the director should have told her to talk normally. Every time she has to speak she takes me out of the scene. Her delivery is incredibly awkward. Towards the end of the movie, however, she comes on fantastically. When tasked with displaying emotion and fear, she was excellent. She is very convincing in the last 20 minutes or so and pretty much carries the finale.

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