Chest (2022) Review – A Poorly Filmed and Boring Appalachian Fumble
Chest: Quick Verdict
The Verdict: A catastrophic failure of the found footage genre that manages to be as technically inept as it is narratively bankrupt. Chest is a masterclass in how not to handle low-budget filmmaking, plagued by “nuclear blast” lighting and camera work that feels less like an aesthetic choice and more like a total lack of experience. While the Appalachian folklore theme is currently in vogue, writer/director Aaron Irons squanders the potential for atmospheric dread in favour of a repetitive, laboured plot populated by unlikable and checked-out characters. Despite a late-stage attempt to pivot into something more ambitious, the film lacks the structural integrity to support its own ending. It is a 1.5 star disaster that takes enormous liberties with the viewer’s time and patience. Unless you are seeking an example of the absolute bottom of the Tubi horror barrel, this is one chest that is best left buried and forgotten.
Details: Director: Aaron Irons | Cast: Aaron Irons, Adam Irons, Caleb Irons, Michael Irons | Runtime: 1h 35m | Release Date: 22 September 2022
Best for: People looking for a “what not to do” guide for found footage and viewers with an exceptionally high tolerance for technical incompetence.
Worth noting: The film appears to be a family affair, with nearly the entire main cast and crew sharing the “Irons” surname, which might explain the lack of critical oversight on the production’s technical flaws.
Where to Watch: Tubi (Free), Amazon Prime Video
Rating: 1.5/5 Stars
(Abysmal technical quality, boring narrative, and a total lack of scares.)
Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we will be reviewing the found footage horror movie Chest from 2022.
Highlights
Back into the world of terrible found footage horror
Now I’ll make it clear before I seem like I am being completely unfair. I love low-budget found footage horror. Hell, I love a terrible horror movie in general. I would never drag Chest for what it lacks in production value, that’s simply not an issue to me. What I will drag it for is everything else it does wrong which, shockingly, is rather a lot.
The movie follows a group of investigators making a documentary about Appalachian folklore – a topic that is very in at the moment, for some reason. While doing so they uncover the legend of a chest hidden in a wilderness area.
The group decide to go looking for it, presumably because the documentary they were making was a bit shit, resulting in them meeting a whole cast of clichéd horror characters. Some not very interesting stuff happens, the movie ends and you breathe a sigh of relief that you made it to the end. That’s assuming you didn’t turn it off halfway through, of course.
Found footage done wrong
Chest is exactly what people imagine when you say Found Footage. This is the very epitome of the Found Footage Boogeyman. Chest is extremely poorly filmed. Shots are terribly set up, lighting is horrible, the camera wobbles around manically and everything feels incredibly amateur.
“Chest is exactly what people imagine when you say Found Footage. This is the very epitome of the Found Footage Boogeyman. It is extremely poorly filmed and incredibly amateur.”
Oh and when I say amateur, I don’t mean some pompous annoying friend who subjects you to their crap artsy photography and videography on Instagram. I mean amateur as in someone who has never held a camera before.
Speaking of which, nobody has actually bothered to set the cameras up. Did the makers realise you have to configure the cameras for outside shots as well as indoor? I don’t think so because indoor scenes are very dull and outdoor shots look horrendous.
It’s like they filmed the movie during the middle of a nuclear blast. The sky glows ominously as if warning the viewer of their impending doom. I have never actually seen this in a horror film before. Hell, I have never seen this in a YouTube video. I had to check the movie on three devices to make sure it wasn’t my TV giving up the ghost.
A boring story and poor acting
As I mentioned earlier, Appalachian folklore is very in at the moment. It’s a pretty timely topic and there is nothing wrong with it as a theme for a horror movie. The problem is, Chest does absolutely nothing with it. Writer and director Aaron Irons has put together a dish-water dull story. Chest plays out like hundreds of similar found footage movies for much of its length.
Skirting the line between standard film and mockumentary, we see the crew interviewing people and making plans for their documentary while occasionally getting excited about the mystery of the hidden chest. The only problem is, the viewer is never given a reason to get excited as well. They might as well be searching for a shoe box for how poorly the mystery is built up.
“Appalachian folklore is a timely topic, but Chest does absolutely nothing with it. Aaron Irons has put together a dish-water dull story that searchers for a shoe box would find more exciting.”
We are subjected to interviews with a cast of characters that are as clichéd as they are inexperienced with acting. It’s rather painful stuff and extremely difficult to engage with. The main cast is, generally, extremely unlikable and almost impossible to care about. There is nothing to invest in here which is probably a good thing. The majority of my energy was spent trying to stay focused on the laboured plot.
Even more issues and an underwhelming conclusion
The longer Chest goes on the more it seems to lose its way. It trudges its way through its tremendously taxing 95-minute runtime, gradually falling deeper and deeper into clichéd found footage territory. Desperately forcing in campfire discussions and group tensions to make us care about the characters, all while feeling like an even lower budget The Blair Witch Project. By the 50-minute point of the movie, the actors are really starting to look checked out. It’s at this point that Chest really starts to go off in a strange direction.
Taking the viewer to what must be the most sanitised and boring cave ever, Irons desperately tries to bring some intrigue to the story… All far too little and far too late. I applaud Irons for trying something different with the last twenty minutes or so, throwing in some themes that might be somewhat unexpected, but I really don’t feel like it works.
“I applaud Irons for trying something different with the last twenty minutes, but the poorly constructed story doesn’t support the film’s conclusion, side-swiping the viewer in a way that just doesn’t work.”
The poorly constructed story doesn’t support the film’s conclusion, side-swiping the viewer and leaving you wondering what the hell just happened. That’s if you actually made it to this point. A big “if” in my opinion.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
The Good
- Folklore Hook: The initial concept of exploring Appalachian superstitions is a solid foundation for horror, even if the film fails to build upon it.
- Ambition: Irons clearly tried to do something unexpected with the final twenty minutes, showing a spark of creativity that was unfortunately buried by the rest of the film.
The Bad
- Lighting: The outdoor shots are so overexposed they become physically painful to watch, appearing more like a nuclear flash than sunlight.
- Pacing: At 95 minutes, the film is far too long for the amount of story it actually has to tell, leading to massive stretches of boredom.
- Acting: The amateur cast lacks the charisma needed to carry a character-focused found footage film, appearing bored and unconvincing.
The Ugly: The Technical Neglect. The fact that the production team didn’t configure their cameras for different environments results in a movie that is often impossible to look at without straining your eyes.
Should You Watch Chest?
No. It is a 1.5 star failure that offers zero rewards for the patient viewer. While low-budget indie horror can be charming, Chest lacks the basic technical competency to even be watchable. Save your time and watch The Blair Witch Project or The Last Broadcast instead; this chest is empty.
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