Caviar (2023) Horror Movie Review

Welcome to Knockout Horror. We are pretty much done with our Horror on Tubi feature. I had aimed for it to run throughout June though it did start a little late. That doesn’t mean we won’t be going to the Tubi well frequently, though. There is just too much opportunity for viable horror, completely free, to ignore. Which brings us to today’s movie as we are reviewing Found Footage (sort of) horror movie Caviar. 

Just So Bad!

There really is so little to talk about with this film; but, alas, I will go on. Caviar is, basically, the word soup from inside the head of a writer, spewed onto the screen haphazardly without a hint of care or skill. Caviar is the Alphabetti Spaghetti of horror movies. A bunch of incoherent letters slapped on a plate with an unpalatable sauce of mediocre acting, terrible imagery and lacklustre story telling.

Caviar (2023) Horror Movie Review

I really can’t think of a better way to put it than that. It might seem like I being a little bit unfair here and perhaps I am. I am sure writer and director Jacob Michael King would claim I just don’t “get” the movie. He would, likely, tell me that Caviar is a deft commentary on the proliferation of misinformation. He would point out how the movie draws attention to the susceptibility of society to manipulation from those in power. And how it highlights the tendencies of both conspiracy theorists and the elite to pray on the weak and the poor.

Which is all well and good but does it really matter if the majority of people turn the movie off half way through? Do you really have an important message if people fall asleep while you are delivering it? Because that’s where I was during this movie. My fiancee abandoned it half way through, choosing, instead, to go and clean up animal shit rather than sit through the rest of the film. Leaving me to fight the boredom and soldier on through it.

Conspiracies, Lies and Misinformation

Caviar follows the story of Antigone. A pregnant woman who has recently lost her social media influencer brother. Determined to carry on his vision, Antigone maintains his YouTube channel and begins releasing her own content. After appearing on an interview, Antigone suddenly receives a package from someone that will turn her life upside down.

Caviar (2023) Horror Movie Review

Caviar is a movie that plays out like a 4Chan Greentext made flesh. Paranoid, self important and repeating messages we have all heard a million times before. It’s, initially, simple premise quickly unravels to reveal something a lot more convoluted. A story that is eager to point a finger at misinformation and conspiracy, all while distancing itself from any particular political agenda. It’s satirical while also feeling rather redundant and unimportant. Caviar is like something you would wake up to autoplaying on YouTube in the wee hours of the morning. 

Deepfakes of political figures play throughout the movie with each character relating sentiments that touch on some of the wider known conspiracies regarding said figures. Seemingly drawing attention to the ease at which this type of media can be created. While never actually managing to feel authentic or impactful. The uncanny valley nature of everything portrayed provokes laughs as well as a bit of amazement at how far AI has come. It’s both impressive for its simplicity and a bit weird for how bad it looks in parts. 

A Complete Fail as a Horror

Aside from the above. When looking at Caviar as a movie, as a horror, and as entertainment. It is a complete and utter fail. This movie is going to provoke some serious laughter, that is if you don’t check out half way through. There are visual effects in this that come straight from Jason and the Argonauts. Genuinely shocking stop motion complete with terrible effects and dodgy perspective work. It is horrifyingly bad. Perhaps this is what the director was going for? But, either way, the result will be laughter and bewilderment that a movie can look this bad in 2023.

Caviar (2023) Horror Movie Review

On top of this. The story at play here is just utterly boring. The slow start and awkward political discussions eventually gives way to something with some potential intrigue. But it is quick to fade away. Descending into silliness and nonsensical twists and turns. All while King rams the subjects of Owls and Aliens into every open story orifice. It’s as weird as it sounds. The movie, ultimately, wraps up with one of the most ridiculous endings I have seen in awhile. Featuring imagery of political figures shrouded in cloaks. Grinning maniacally as some Cronenberg-esque, psychedelic, visuals bombard the viewer. In, what I can only describe as, a psychotic episode of a final scene. It’s hilarious stuff and almost made it worth sitting through the movie. 

Acting is Pretty Mixed

Acting is pretty awful, throughout. Betsey Brown is wildly inconsistent as Antigone. Opening the movie with some horrendously awful fake crying, before moving into a more comfortable flow as a budding vlogger / mystery investigator. Before reverting back to terrible acting and overuse of the word “Bro” for the final 20 minutes. It was a weird performance. I think she is, more than likely, a very capable actor. It just seemed as though she was bored or tired, maybe even a little bit frustrated at how silly the story was.

Caviar (2023) Horror Movie Review

Al Warren was okay as Jeremiah. It’s hard to believe he would be someone that made it as any kind of social media personality though. He has no obvious charisma and feels incredibly bland. Aaron Pruner is decent as a sleazy dude with something to hide. There was a bit of a Tim Curry vibe to his performance which I enjoyed. Conversely, Jais Sardo is really bad as Alex Jones-lite Caesar Green, never feeling anything other than awkward, on screen. Similarly, James Healy Jr. was not at all convincing as someone suffering from dementia.  

Should You Watch Caviar?

I’ve reviewed some utter crap lately. I didn’t think it could get much worse than I’m Haunted but, apparently, I was wrong. Caviar is terrible. It’s a movie that may appeal to certain people who enjoy certain topics. But, for the majority of us, it’s just a movie that rambles on incessantly about topics we are all sick of hearing about. Bland conspiracies, deep fakes, misinformation yadayadayada. It’s all been done before and wrapping it in a story about Aliens and Owls doesn’t make it worth sitting through again.

By Richie