Blood Rage (1987) Thanksgiving Movie Review - It's Definitely Not Cranberry Sauce

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in America that celebrate it. Obviously we don’t have thanksgiving here in Wales, UK. I will be enjoying the festivities, however. I like to spend the day watching the Thanksgiving NFL games. Luckily my New Orleans Saints aren’t playing so I won’t be experiencing anything too horrific. For everyone else, we need a thanksgiving themed horror movie. Well, there are quite a few that are, at least, set at thanksgiving. The problem is, most of them are utter shite. With that in mind, we are going back to an old classic in the form of 80’s slasher Blood Rage.

Directed by John Grissner, Blood Rage is an old fashioned, kill a minute, horror movie. Made in 1983 but only released 4 years later. Blood Rage features arms being chopped off, a person being cut in half, heads being sliced open and much more. You can leave your brain in bed for this one.

It follows a pair of twins, one of which is accused of murder and placed in a psychiatric hospital. Little do his accusers realise, it was actually his psychotic twin brother who was the killer. And now, 10 years later, he is about to go on a bloody rampage, just in time for Thanksgiving. There is a distinct lack of autumn tropes due to the location. Still, autumn is very different in warmer climates. Let’s give a little nod to their fall experiences. For something more autumnal, we reviewed Kristy as part of our Fall Themed Horror series. Kristy is set during the thanksgiving break so it might make for a fitting replacement here.

80’s Slasher Fun

The 80s was a great era for slasher movies. We had the Child’s Play series. Friday the 13th had hit the scene. The Nightmare on Elm Street movies were everywhere. On top of that we had Halloween sequels arriving in cinemas every few years. The novelty of the genre had not worn off. If a production company was looking to make a horror, the slasher genre was an obvious option. The movies were easily digestible, fun and had proven consistently popular.

When looking to make a thanksgiving horror, what better genre to use? It goes without saying that today’s movie falls into the slasher genre. Blood Rage’s alternative title is, actually, just that – “Slasher”. Blood Rage sees antagonist Terry go on a maniacal rampage ten years after framing his twin brother for murder. He chops off hands, slices open heads, cuts people in half and kills couples while they are having sex. It is traditional slasher fun.

With this being said, there isn’t really a whole lot to analyse about this movie. It is as simple and straight forwards as it gets. Man goes crazy, kills a lot of people, attempts to pin it on his brother. That is really all you need to know and what more could you want? This is a straight forward riot. Throw it on, grab some snacks and have a laugh. Just don’t expect it to be particularly good.

Blood, Guts, and Boobs, Oh My!

What more could you want from a slasher? Blood Rage is filled with buckets of blood, or is it cranberry sauce? Terry is a relentless killer. He methodically carves his way through a whole bunch of the residents of Shadow Woods. Seemingly completely motiveless, nobody is safe. From people looking to hook up, to Terry’s friends and everyone in between. The kill count is pretty high. Terry is ruthless and on a mission to cause mayhem.

As with a lot of slashers from this era, everything is played for laughs. The violence is comical and will genuinely make you chuckle. Despite being graphic, it is done in such an obviously fake fashion that is simply isn’t that bad. Very fitting for the era. There are lots of guts and nasty bits that are a staple of the genre. Again, it’s all a bit comical and not very realistic. For the time, however, the effects look fantastic. The kills are occasionally inventive and, often, quite humorous. That doesn’t mean we get to see everything, though. Much of the action happens off screen. For a few of the kills, the only exposition we get is someone finding a mangled corpse.

Naturally, this is an 80’s slasher so expect some nudity. It seems like movies from this era featured at least one woman paid to get naked and then die. Blood Rage is no different. Viewed through a modern eye, it’s a bit silly but it is very fitting for the type of movie and the time. It’s not gratuitous nudity either, just a few boobs here and there.

Pure Thanksgiving Cheese

Blood Rage is a pretty damn cheesy movie. I mean, it’s an 80’s slasher, of course it is. Terry saunters around with a comical swagger absolutely relishing every kill. He cracks wise on frequent occasions and a few of his lines are pretty iconic. He loves to torment his victims and, even in death, they don’t manage to escape his retro slasher wit. His enormous grin and wild eyes fit the character well. In an age where most slasher villains wore masks, Terry wore a smile.

On the other hand, Todd is ridiculously childlike and vulnerable. He looks at the world with a sense of curiosity. It’s as if he has been asleep for ten years and woken up in a different world. It’s all incredibly cheesy and the characters are turned up to 10. The dialogue is basic, reactions histrionic, and some of the scenes are absolutely farcical. Todd and Terry’s mum, Maddy, works her way through about 6 bottles of wine. She distracts herself with housework and eating leftovers from the fridge in a hilariously comical fashion. It’s the exact type of light entertainment that you have come to expect from slashers.

It feels as though Blood Rage captures the 80s in an almost undistilled form. Whereas movies like Friday the 13th have a somewhat timeless feel. Blood Rage is locked firmly in 83. The furniture and fashions are ridiculously retro. The synthesised beats wail in the background. The massive hair is even more noteworthy than the kills. The only thing bigger than the fake blood budget here would have been the one for hairspray. Blood Rage is something of an 80’s time capsule.

Acting is…. What You Would Expect

Let’s be real, you can’t expect the acting here to be particularly good. It’s a low budget 80’s slasher. Still, it really isn’t all that bad. Mark Soper as Todd and Terry is having an absolute blast, that is completely obvious. Relishing the opportunity to play the evil Terry. Soper beams when delivering cheesy one liners. Todd is played as more of a wide eyed child. There is decent separation between the two characters. Soper’s performance is pretty mixed, however. At times he speaks in an unnecessarily exaggerated and strange manner. It can feel a bit odd. He plays the part for laughs and has a great time, though, which really shines through.

Side characters are adequate pretty much throughout. You know how it goes for films like this. Line delivery is often awkward and typically cheesy for this type of a movie. It is acceptable, however, given the context. Nobody stands out in any major way but they make for great killer fodder. The star performance is actually Louise Lasser as Terry’s mum Maddy. She plays the character with a mix of dramatic chops and perfectly executed comedy. Screaming down the phone line one moment to manically vacuuming the bedroom the next. She is so enjoyable in the role. She totally gets the silliness and is a real highlight.

It’s a Bit Bad But Lots of Fun

Blood Rage is not an incredibly good movie. Hell, it’s not even an above average movie if I am honest. Even against slashers of the time it doesn’t hold up particularly well. It is, however, a lot of fun. It’s the perfect movie for thanksgiving night as an alternative to the football. You will laugh your arse off and likely really enjoy the kills. There is plenty of blood and a whole bevy of one liners. That’s what you are here for, right? That’s why we put slashers on. We are not interested in plot. We just want to see someone increasing their body count at a rapid rate.

There is no tension here. Don’t expect any scares. Hell, don’t even bother attempting to find a cohesive plot. Characters are ridiculously stupid. Editing is crap. Camera work is shoddy and the plot is holier than Jesus himself. There is no build up to the kills. The movie doesn’t really go anywhere and the script is an embarrassment. Being completely honest, Terry doesn’t even make for a scary horror villain. He is not intimidating and is just as stupid as his victims.

What we do have, however, is a slice of 80’s slasher nostalgia. The time period is captured in its purest form. The body count is high, the kills are funny and the effects look fantastic. Terry’s one liners are hilarious. Soper’s childlike joy at playing such a bastard of a character are truly endearing. Louise Lasser delights as Maddy and is a huge highlight of the film. Blood Rage is absolutely fine as long as you don’t expect much. Let’s be real, what else fits the bill for a thanksgiving horror movie and is actually this much fun? It’s worth noting that you can find this movie on YouTube. It is heavily censored however, and makes for a tough watch.

Should You Watch Blood Rage?

If you are looking for a cheesy 80’s slasher with lots of ridiculous kills, hammy acting, poor dialogue and lots of silliness. You need to watch Blood Rage. It is one of a few thanksgiving horror movies and great for a laugh. Just don’t expect to be blown away. You should know what to expect when watching a movie like this.

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