The Loved Ones (2009) Review – A Brutal and Hilarious Australian Nightmare

Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are taking a look at Sean Byrne’s The Loved Ones.

Lola doesn’t have a date for the prom

The Loved Ones kicks off with teenager Brent, played by Xavier Samuel, being approached by odd girl Lola (Robin McLeavy) and asked to accompany her to prom. Brent politely refuses, telling Lola that he already has a date. Heading out to a local beauty spot for some edgy guy thinking time, Brent is knocked unconscious. When he wakes up, he quickly realises that he is the guest of honour at an altogether different type of prom and he has no chance of refusing this time.

“This is an utterly sadistic movie that is aiming to make you laugh and wince in equal measure. Byrne is more than okay with having poor Brent tortured for hours in some of the most teeth-gritting splatter-horror scenes you will ever witness.”

Let’s not beat around the bush, here. This is an utterly sadistic movie that is aiming to make you laugh and wince in equal measure. There’s virtually no story and character development is minimal. We are dropped in right before prom night and given the least amount of exposition needed to get to the violence. From there on out, it’s a collection of torture porn horror sequences designed to extract the utmost carnage from the relatively tight runtime.

What’s kind of hilarious about it is the flagrant disregard The Loved Ones has for its characters. Brent is a bit of a tragic case who is seriously depressed and heavy in grief. Byrne doesn’t care a lick about that, though. He is more than okay with tying poor Brent up in a chair and having him tortured for hours in some of the most teeth-gritting splatter-horror scenes you will ever witness. It’s utterly gruesome stuff and it cares not for your objections.

So Aussies love torture horror?

Those Australians sure love their violent horror. I almost feel dirty mentioning movies like Wolf Creek, Hounds of Love, and Snowtown when discussing this subject as they are based on real-life criminals. But the sheer brutality of them stays with you long after watching. The Loved Ones will, likely, do exactly the same. This is a gory and wince-inducing movie that’s not for the faint of heart.

Brent is subjected to a significant amount of torture throughout The Loved Ones and Sean Byrne doesn’t hold back at all. He toys with the viewer constantly and offers Brent hope only to take it away seconds later. There is some very graphic detail here and some scenes that will likely make you want to turn away. It is a brutal movie and even somewhat creative in how it delivers that brutality. My partner and I have watched it a number of times and are still shocked by some of the scenes.

It goes without saying that the torture element is at the forefront for much of the movie’s 84 minutes. The camera shots indulge in the trauma caused by Lola. She’s an antagonist who enjoys every second of what she is doing. The shot spends a significant amount of time building anticipation. All before ruthlessly delivering on the promise of violence in the most horrifying way.

The injuries inflicted look extremely realistic and nothing is done with a hint of cartoon exaggeration. The maniacal nature of Lola and just how much she seems to be enjoying herself has you terrified for what she might do next. She is an unrelenting monster and has absolutely no sympathy for her victims. She aims to cause only pain and is very good at it.

Horror comedy gold

We can’t mention the violent torture without bringing up the comedy, though. The Loved Ones is legitimately hilarious in parts. This really shouldn’t work as well as it does. Someone being subjected to a ton of violence should make for a pretty bleak movie. While that is true, there are so many funny moments here. Much of that is down to Lola herself who has that quintessential, memorable horror villain charm. The camera work and character reactions only add to the comedy. The timing is perfect.

“The Loved Ones is legitimately hilarious in parts. Someone being subjected to a ton of violence should make for a pretty bleak movie, but there are so many funny moments here.”

There is a lot of focus placed on Brent’s friend Jamie, played by Richard Wilson. He has managed to grab a date with a big tiddy goth girl, Mia played by Jessica McNamee. Nearly every scene they are in is played almost entirely for laughs. It is reminiscent of something from an American Pie movie and should be out of place in a horror. It’s actually, however, a much-needed relief from the brutal torture element of the film.

It could be argued that the comedy perhaps takes away from the serious nature of the movie. Some of the scenes featuring Mia and Jamie are maybe an unwanted distraction from what is happening with Lola and Brent. We do lose a little of the action so we can check up on the two. It is possible that this breaks up the flow a little but, in my opinion, it is completely worth it.

Creatively filmed and a standout performance

As I mentioned above, The Loved Ones is a stylish movie. There are lots of creative camera shots and interesting ways to highlight character’s emotions. Close-ups of Lola laughing maniacally perfectly highlight how insane she is. On top of that, there are some fantastic editing cut used to reflect Brent’s suffering.

The grimness of the home where the violence takes place contrast brilliantly with the hot pink of Lola’s dress. It creates a nice visual representation of the dichotomy between the way Lola sees herself and the horrific crimes she commits. Glitter and streamers adorn a poorly cared for home in a serious state of disrepair. It makes for a striking visual.

There is one scene in particular where a bright pink stereo, old and covered in dirt, plays a song about unrequited love. This serves as a perfect introduction to Lola herself given her cute aesthetic yet hideous personality. Her dad calls her princess and that’s exactly how she sees herself.

“If you enjoy comedy horror and have a soft spot for maniacal girls who just can’t take no for an answer, you should definitely join Lola for prom night. It is hilarious, brutal, and disgusting.”

This brings me nicely on to the performance of Robin McLeavy as Lola. She is absolutely fantastic and portrays a maniac incredibly well. You entirely buy into the idea that she is a dangerous girl who can’t be compromised with. It is very apparent that she is doing this just for fun. Certain scenes featuring her laughing and full of joy at harming Brent are simply brilliant. She is the star of the show!. A big part of me wishes the movie was 15 minutes longer just so that we could see more of her.

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