Match (2025) – A Horror Movie Review a Day Halloween 2025 - October 9th
Welcome to Knockout Horror. It’s day 9 of our 31 Days of Halloween Horror-movie-a-day feature. Today, we are checking out brand new Tubi original Match. Dating apps have become somewhat ubiquitous nowadays. Once considered the home of lonely losers with no social skills. In 2025, you don’t have to look too far to find a friend or relative who met their significant other on just such a platform.
But along with the fun and excitement of meeting new potential mates comes a hell of a lot of risk. Catfishing, people with ill intentions, scams, and hideously mutated freaks desperate to get their end away at the behest of their maniacal mother.. Well, that’s the case in today’s movie, anyway.
I always like to throw a few new releases into my 31 Days of Halloween features. This year has been a bit different thanks to October being absolutely loaded with films. Seven of the nine movies I have covered so far hit cinemas or television screens in the last few months. Match is no different, having released just a few days ago on Tubi.
A Match Made in Hell
The story follows Paola (Humberly González), a young woman who has just come out of a bad relationship and is now looking for love. Deciding to try her luck on dating sites, she is relieved when a string of terrible encounters is broken by meeting Henry. An eligible bachelor who just so happens to have everything she could possibly want from a partner. Agreeing to visit his house to meet up for the first time, she quickly realises something is majorly wrong when Henry isn’t quite what he seems.
As we mentioned earlier, there is a very real risk factor associated with meeting up with strangers on dating sites. The potential for your date to look absolutely nothing like their pictures or to be horribly awkward is one thing. But there are so many other things that can go wrong that it almost makes you wonder how horny someone has to be to even go through with it. Women, particularly.
With that being said, it’s a wonder we don’t see this theme in horror a little more often. Match really turns things up to 11, though. This isn’t merely a date gone wrong, it’s an absolute nightmare of frankly ludicrous proportions. In fact, the plot is so utterly farcical that it is a wonder the movie hasn’t earned a “horror comedy” tag. It’s almost too stupid to take remotely seriously. This is one of those classic examples of how going in with your expectations incorrectly aligned could leave you feeling seriously short changed. This is a b-movie through and through.
He’s a Real Mama’s Boy
Match does absolutely nothing by halves; it is completely over the top and utterly silly. It is also a difficult movie to talk about without spoiling just a little but I can’t exactly sell the reader on it with just its one sentence synopsis, alone.
Basically, Paola arrives at her date’s house only to be greeted by his mother Lucille (Dianne Simpson). What she thinks is about to be a hot date with a handsome dude actually turns out to be a ruse. Lucille has catfished her in order to offer Paola up to her hideously deformed, Hills Have Eyes-esque, son so that he can give her a grandchild. Yes, it is as dumb as it sounds.
The problem is, Match is caught up somewhere between outrageous, Troma style, B-Movie and something which occasionally takes itself far too seriously. The majority of the film sees Paola wandering around this dilapidated house looking for a way out. Occasionally she learns a bit about the family, there’s the odd chase here and there, but most of her time is spent meandering around doing almost nothing.
The meat of the horror lies in the demented family matriarch Lucille and her mutated son. It’s absolutely farcical. Their relationship is one that should probably inspire some pity in the viewer but, instead, inspires revulsion instead. There are some seriously twisted scenes here.
At one point, Lucille pleasures her own son for absolutely no reason. It’s disgusting but that’s, apparently, director Danishka Esterhazy’s idea of horror. If that sounds like too much to you, just skip the movie as a whole.
A Mess of Slapstick, Sex, and Sentiment
The movie plays out as a mix of supposedly tender moments featuring our protagonist, attempted assaults by the deformed son who is constantly in a state of dropping his pants, and formulaic cat and mouse stuff with limited tension. It’s so tonally confused, however, that it almost never manages to entirely find its feet. The violence is almost at a level of slapstick, too.
Our protagonist, Paola, is pretty hopeless. She has absolutely no awareness of danger and she repeatedly walks herself right into trouble. Rarely do horror movie characters have such a complete and utter lack of self-preservation. She even steps on a mouse-trap at one point.. It’s like something out of a Warner Bros cartoon. Said mousetrap is utilised a little later on, as well, but in a far more intimate location. Again, reflecting the slapstick nature of the action.
Match is one of those movies with a primary directive to shock the viewer. Most of the time, this is done by uncomfortable sexual content, absolutely enormous dongs, and a fairly hefty kill count. Other times it is via unexpected deaths and the constant threat of seeing a character being molested by Quasimodo’s uglier younger brother. None of it really works tremendously well and the moments where Esterhazy tries to inject a little emotion feel enormously out of place.
A Mixed Bag of B-Movie Tropes
Ultimately, I’m guessing that Match should really be taken as a comedy horror b-movie. There are quite a few chuckle worthy moments that support that but it is mostly gross out humour. If your idea of funny is watching an overweight woman pleasuring herself in a public toilet then you are going to be in stitches. If you are here for horror, however, you might be a bit disappointed.
Acting is pretty mediocre, throughout. Dianne Simpson is probably the star of the show with her utterly over-the-top performance as Lucille. It’s classic B-Movie stuff that I actually enjoyed quite a lot, in parts. Humberly González, as Paolo, is fine if not unremarkable. Paolo is such a lame protagonist that it’s hard to really invest all that much.
I did enjoy Nikita Faber as Natalie, though, and thought her delivery was very natural and she added a few much needed chuckles. Cinematography is okay. Practical effects are somewhere between good and “bought it at a Halloween costume store”. The ending is absolute chaos and probably has a few moments that some viewers won’t see coming.
Should You Watch Match?
Match is one of those titles that you need to recognise what you are getting into before watching. Make no mistake, this is a B-movie in every sense of the word. Gross out humour, over-the-top performances, frequently disgusting scenes, and an abundance of moments designed purely to shock are the hallmarks of this film. If that sounds like your thing, you might have a great time. It’s a bit too uneven to thoroughly recommend. To be perfectly honest, I really don’t want to be the person responsible for advising someone to go and watch a movie featuring incestuous intimacy, either. It’s an okay, yet slightly messy b-movie. Let’s leave it at that.
Our Scoring Philosophy: A Fair Fight
Horror is a genre that thrives thanks to indie film makers and low budget creators. At Knockout Horror, we firmly believe that every movie that we review deserves a fair fight. That's why we grade on a curve. Our star ratings are all about context, judging a film on what it achieves with the resources it has.
A 4-star rating for a scrappy indie horror made for $10,000 is a testament to its ingenuity and raw power. A 4-star rating for a $100 million blockbuster means it delivered on its epic promises. We don't compare them side-by-side; we celebrate success in every weight class, from the back-alley brawler to the heavyweight champion. Please keep this in mind when considering star ratings.
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