Welcome to Knockout Horror. Today we are going to be checking out a low budget horror movie that just hit VOD a few weeks ago – Bystanders. This movie follows a group of vile, murderous, frat boys as they just so happen to find themselves on the receiving end of the violence. At the hands of an equally murderous couple.
It’s probably pretty obvious, from the synopsis above, what the deal is with Bystanders. A group of frat boys lure a bunch of girls to their secluded cabin. They ply them with spiked drinks, take advantage of them, and then set about hunting them through the woods. While pursuing our protagonist, Abby (Brandi Botkin), they encounter a couple heading home from a wedding. The couple just so happen to have a very particular set of skills and the group of dudes quickly find the tables have turned.
If that sounds familiar, that’s because it is. This is a very similar formula to the 70’s shock horror Last House on the Left with a sprinkling of I Spit on Your Grave thrown in for good measure. Our couple are very adept at violence and they are hell bent on doling out their own form of justice. This comes, typically, in the form of drawn out monologues and acts of torture. Everything you would expect from a revenge horror movie. But the question is, is Bystanders a good film?
A Little Awkward
This is one of those horror movies that I feel a little bad about when it comes to giving my honest opinion. It is very clear that Bystanders is someone’s passion project. Writer, and star, Jamie Alvey is, obviously, very proud of this film. According to the extensive trivia notes regarding the movie, apparently provided by Alvey, herself, I assume. This is a film that has been in the planning stages for, at least, the past seven or eight years.
Alvey enlisted Dread Central’s editor in chief, Mary Beth McAndrews, to direct. She knocked together a script, jumped into a starring role, and, finally, managed to bring her dream to life. I can really respect that. Making a movie is no small task and it is definitely not an easy thing to do. It must suck to have some dude who has never written a script or directed a single shot criticising your work. But, alas, I review movies as a hobby. I just have to call it as I see it. Bystanders is not a very good movie.
A Few Positives
This is one of those movies that has a ton of issues. We should get the good stuff out of the way, first. I don’t find the plot to be overly bad. I am quite a big fan of revenge movies and I think the formula has legs, when done well. It’s not a sub-genre that gets a whole lot of attention, either. There’s always room for more. I, actually, quite like the idea of a murderous couple fighting for good. We can all relate to wanting to see horrible people getting their comeuppance and it is easy to root for the characters here.
The direction is, actually, pretty competent. Bystanders doesn’t feel quite as amateur as it probably should and there aren’t an overabundance of issues with continuity etc. Outside of the expected instances of objects changing hands, shot inconsistencies, and the like. It’s okay.. Not good, but okay. Some of the acting is okay, too. Garrett Murphy has a few decent moments, as does Brandi Botkin. The script has a few moments of promise. They are few and far between but they are there.
And The Negatives
Everything else is significantly less praiseworthy. Bystanders starts with the typical audio hiss and distant vocals that seem to be the trademark of these types of movies. The picture is massively oversaturated. Almost hazy with deep hues and bleeding colours. It looks pretty awful.
Most of the cast are terrible and seem more like friends of the crew than actual actors. The girls have, virtually, no character beyond Abby being bad at makeup. The initial setup is altogether too brief and the introduction to the frat boys is very lacklustre. There’s barely five seconds to work out who these characters are and what their connection is to each other.
Sooo Slow
Once the action starts, it is very laboriously paced. As mentioned earlier, there is a lot of slow walking and protracted monologuing. Each confrontation is punctuated by a journey between destinations that takes altogether too long.
Nothing happens with any urgency which wouldn’t be so bad if the action was interesting but it just isn’t. The action scenes repeat themselves, ad nauseum. They all, inevitably, lead to someone being incapacitated in one form or another purely to enable some dull torture scenes and another rambling monologue. It all feels extremely cheesy and a little immature, to be honest.
The monologues suffer for some very weak scripting, too, which makes things worse. There’s only so many ways a character can tell another character that “they are bad but we are worse” before it gets old. Much of the dialogue is very unnatural, as well. The bad guys talk like comic book villains and the good guys talk like a slightly more ethical version of Heath Ledger’s Joker. Characters in Bystanders feel more like caricatures than real people.
The less said about Hannah Fierman’s small role, the better. I thought she had so much promise but she is not good at all, here. She seems to just be making a living acting in low budget horror now.
Should You Watch Bystanders?
If you are absolutely desperate for a revenge horror, you may enjoy Bystanders. You really need to make exception for the terrible script, poor acting, laborious action scenes and ridiculous amount of monologuing to find something worth watching, though. Bystanders is the product of an inexperienced team that had an idea but weren’t capable of executing. I respect the effort and I like the idea. It just doesn’t work, unfortunately.