The Amityville Curse (2023) Movie Review – Horror on Tubi

Welcome to Knockout Horror. It’s the last day of our Low Budget Horror on Tubi Feature and we are wrapping it up by reviewing Tubi Original The Amityville Curse from 2023. This one is, apparently, based on Hans Holzmer’s prequel novel The Amityville Haunting. Does that offer us a glimmer of hope, here? Short answer? No! Long Answer? Nooooooo. Read on for more.

Over the past month, we have covered 20 Low Budget Tubi Horror movies for you. Including 7 Tubi Originals. I am not going to lie, it has been rough. Going into this; my aim was to see whether there was any low budget movies on Tubi that might surprise me. could I find something that would shed the shackles of mediocrity? Would something manage to rise above its station and change the narrative about cheap horror on free streaming sites? 

The Results Were As You Might Expect

Aside from a few notable examples such as ReSet, Lexi, The Andy Baker Tape and Death of a Vlogger. The vast majority of these movies fell somewhere between below average and complete dreck. Some of them were among the worst horror I have watched in recent memory. With Caviar, Chest and The Sleepless Unrest deserving special mention. 

For the last few movies, I decided to change the rules a bit. I picked films with notable casts, higher budgets and more interesting locations. The results were equally disappointing. With the rule change not really resulting in an increase in quality. Shark Bait is an extremely average creature feature. Captive is a boring, middle of the road, vampire flick. And Mercy Falls was a run of the mill thriller with nothing to write home about.

The Worst Was Yet To Come

Man, I had no idea how bad things could get. I thought I had seen the worst. I thought I had weathered the storm and was, pretty much, home dry. Boy was I ever wrong? Today’s movie is, unequivocally, the worst yet. Despite having a well known cast. Despite having the keys to a well known horror franchise. And despite having a decent budget. This movie still manages to be worse than the majority of movies I have reviewed on this site.

I always talk about context when it comes to reviewing a horror movie. A 3/5 found footage, micro budget, horror movie isn’t the same as a 3/5 high budget horror full of established talent. They aren’t equal and they can’t be directly compared. All ratings need to be considered as relative to the type of movie. When it comes to something like this. A movie with a well known name, well known actors and a decent amount of money for production. The 1/5 I am about to award it is a serious indictment.

Maybe The Worst Amityville Movie?

And that is saying something. Any veteran horror fans will remember the first Amityville Horror movie from 1979. Let’s be real, it wasn’t very good. Critics and fans like to retcon opinions on old horror movies. Giving them a few extra points purely for the fact that they are old. As if they deserve merit for not having combusted into flames sometime in the past 40+ years. But the movie is a boring and repetitive exercise in yawn inducing horror nothingness. Time hasn’t done it any favours in this respect.

The dozens of Amityville Horror movies that have followed since haven’t fared much better. In fact, the 2005 remake seems to be the only one with a fairly decent user score on IMDB. Much of that probably has to do with the fact that Ryan Reynolds stars in it alongside Melissa George. Despite how many bad movies there are in this series. The Amityville Curse might be the worst one I have seen myself. 

Just Really Bad

I’m going to avoid waffling on with this film. Let’s just get to the meat of the matter. The Amityville Curse is just a really bad horror movie. Featuring a group of friends purchasing the famous, supposedly haunted, house in the hopes of renovating and flipping it. It isn’t long before things begin to go wrong. Making the group think they might have made a huge mistake. 

Let’s start with the plot. Who buys the Amityville house to turn into condos and flip? Who the hell would do that? Aside from it being a tourist destination that barely goes a day without people taking pictures of it. Who would pay the inflated cost of buying a property with such a well known history. Only to avoid turning it into a horror fan hot spot and, instead, turn it into 2 or three condos? That is utterly ridiculous. Anyone buying this place would likely want to have it for ghost tours, renting out to movie production companies, and for day visits. Hell, my fiancee suggested making it an Air B and B for ghost hunters and horror fans. It has a ready made market that would make prospective buyers extremely rich.

The sheer notion that anyone would buy this place with intentions to flip it in this way is utter silliness. When the shit starts hitting the fan and the friends begin trending online because of the house. Ghost hunters turn up to investigate and they turn them away. Apparently because they are the worst business people in the world and have some aversion to making copious amounts of money.

Extremely Silly Throughout

Things start going wrong for the group pretty quickly. With characters having bizarre dreams and seeing things that aren’t there. The problem is, the way these things are illustrated looks absolutely ridiculous. Weird, almost glitchy, GIF animation style visions appear in the dreams of the characters. Threatening them and attempting to look menacing. While never actually managing to look anything other than farcical. There is a distinct retro FMV video game feeling about it. Leaving you to wonder what exactly the makers were going for.

Other scares come in the form of characters talking demonically and performing involuntary actions. Including someone taking a Fosbury flop out of a top floor window. It all feels very cheap and incredibly silly. Robbing the movie of any suspense or shock value. And actually provoking a few laughs on a number of occasions. It’s hard not to get a chuckle out of some of the shlocky visuals. And the fact that someone actually thought this would be scary is completely laughable. 

Messy Character Dynamics

This is a strange group of characters. Aside from them being a rather boring collection of people. Designed to fit your typical horror movie archetypes. The religious one, the sceptical one, the one that believes in ghosts etc. Most seem to be in their mid to late 30s which seems to be the age group of choice for Tubi Originals. They are all professionally successful and all seem to be connected in some way or another. A couple have dated in the past but aren’t dating anymore. Another two are in a relationship but that’s not really made clear until halfway through. Another two are unconnected and just happen to be friends. It’s a weird mix and makes the fact that the entire group have come together to purchase this house difficult to buy into.

We are expected to believe that these people have significant history as a group. But there is virtually no chemistry between them and none of them seem to like each other very much. When awful things happen to characters, the rest of the group can barely muster anything other than pure apathy. It’s very strange and only made stranger by the fact that not one of this group of 30-somethings has kids. Nearly everyone I went to school with has kids. I couldn’t get 8 people together for a drink. Let alone to coordinate a purchase and renovation of a property that will take a significant investment of both time and money.

It’s just pretty ridiculous. And it’s made all the more ridiculous by the fact that the entire group have chosen to live at the house while renovating. Imagine sharing a house with 7 other 30+ year olds when you are in your 30s. That sounds even more hellish than spending a night in the Amityville house snuggled up with Ronald DeFeo jr. 

Not At All Scary, Repetitive and Boring

Much of the above would be forgivable if the movie delivered on the scares. Unfortunately, that just isn’t the case. The attempts to shock the viewer never feel anything other than pathetic. There is no atmosphere, no sense of tension and no feeling of threat from the supposedly menacing house. None of the visuals deliver and the constant use of voice changing software towards the end of the movie sounds ridiculous. Lending a very particular brand of cheapness to the film.

There is a slight switch of tone toward the latter half of the movie. Which the story does benefit from. But it doesn’t really go anywhere. Fizzling out in a rather anti-climactic fashion; never delivering on the potential offered by the introduction of a character that actually had some personality. There is so little to grasp onto. And, worst of all, the events during the last 10 minutes or so hint at a sequel. The whole Amityville haunting thing has become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because Amityville based horror films have been haunting the industry for years and it doesn’t look like it will stop anytime soon.

Awful Camera Work and Direction

It doesn’t help that The Amityville Curse is an ugly looking film. There is a distinct 70’s vibe about everything that had me convinced that the movie was set somewhere around the time period of the original. So you can imagine my shock when someone mentioned podcasts. This film is ugly. Whether this is a deliberate homage or not, I am not sure? It feels awkward and makes the whole film feel a little bit visually confused. The camera work is very spasmodic, as well. Frequently jittering around, moving from person to person and rarely stable. It’s not a very nice movie to look at.

This is made worse by Éric Tessier’s poor direction. Continuity issues abound leading to the movie having something of a difficult to follow timeline. This is a problem that starts immediately. With the group rushing around moving furniture and packing. Only to apparently have moved in only minutes later. It’s a messy film with a poorly defined sequence of events. By the midway point, it seems like 10 people have died in the space of three days. Yet the house has undergone significant renovations. 

Acting is Okay

Acting is okay. For the most part, though, this is a really bland cast that doesn’t seem all that interested in performing to 100% of their ability. I get it, the script is awful and the story is shite so I can sympathise. Dillon Casey, as Frank, overacts ridiculously. I doubt there is any of the Amityville house left from him chewing the scenery. He feels almost comic book like for his hyper delivery. I really enjoyed Kenny Wong’s brief performance as enthusiastic ghost hunter Ben. Tommie-Amber Pirie, as Abigail, is fine. She seems a little bored for much of the movie but she is perfectly adequate. Jenny Raven has a hella cool name and does okay. She seems to grow more comfortable towards the end of the movie. Vanessa Smythe feels a bit awkward at times but, again, is okay.

Michael Xavier is fine. He doesn’t particularly stand out as an actor. Feeling like he lacks in dramatic delivery, at times. But he does a good job for the most part. I would have liked Mercedes Morris role as Billie to be a little more fleshed out. Her character seemed deeper than some of the others and Morris does a nice job. I thought Ennis Esmer did a good job as Reverend Marion, as well. Almost feeling like he was one of the only actors taking the movie seriously. Likewise Brendan Fehr, who was also in Tubi Original Captive, is a cut above the rest of the cast. Feeling like he really embodied the character of Dr Clark and bringing some actual personality to the movie. All in all, it’s all just very middle of the road and unremarkable.

Final Thoughts and Score

The Amiytville Curse is another awful horror movie bearing the Amiytville name. A ridiculous plot, messy cast of characters, complete lack of scares and some visuals that are beyond ridiculous are just some of this movie’s issues. It’s just really bad. Boring, bland and a complete waste of time. I think this might be the worst movie I have watched bearing the Amityville moniker. Skip it, watch anything else, there is absolutely nothing to recommend here.

So that is it. The last of our Low Budget Horror on Tubi Feature. Obviously the horror on Tubi section will stick around. I will be going back to this well frequently and adding to the category. There is just so much horror on Tubi. Some of which is actually decent. We ended on a low note with a streak of bad movies. We didn’t actually manage to find much worth recommended. But we did have a lot of fun. I will be wrapping things up with an article featuring the good, the bad and the fugly of Tubi soon.

In the meantime, it’s on to our next feature – Summer Scares. It’s getting warmer so it’s time to check out some horror movies set in sunny locations with sand, sea, bikinis and errr speedos I guess? Keep an eye out for that. We just put together a list of 25 Christmas Themed Horror Movies because Christmas in July is a thing, apparently. Why not check that out? You can also take a look at more Horror Movie Reviews, a few of our Horror Movie Lists or even catch up on our ridiculously long Horror Ending Explained articles. I update tons and I don’t put out fluff. Just stuff you can grab a coffee and sit for a few minutes reading. I would love for you to stick around. Thanks for reading!